The most recent Positive Discipline Parenting Tool we worked with is Hugs. I know, a hug doesn't sound like much of a tool, but it really can be. The main idea behind using a hug as a tool is that "Children do better when they feel better"! Many times a hug can transform a hostile situation into a loving interaction.
We use hugs from time to time in our household. That is they key to effectiveness here. If you ask for/offer a hug every time your child has a melt down, it will quickly lose its effectiveness. If you keep it tucked in your back pocket, and when you both are in the middle of a heightened emotional situation, ask for a hug. You might be surprised by the reaction that you get. We have also taught our daughter to ask for a hug when she starts to get out of control, sometimes she remembers and it works!
The neatest thing I have seen with our daughter happened when she didn't know I was even watching. One day she was playing with a friend and her friend started getting upset about something. My daughter offered a couple of solutions, but the friend kept getting angry, finally my daughter said to her friend, "do you want a hug?". Her friend sound a little stunned, but accepted the hug. Things were quickly diffused and they went back to playing. It was a proud mama moment!
Hugs are good for children, and adults; try it!
Next week we look at The Wheel Of Choice.